Emotional!!!

It's few more days to exam. which in my words it's the end of the world. I don't know when I've turned into a little gal. Felt so weak, feel so lack of confident, so afraid of dissappointment and failure. These haven't been a threat to me before. I've changed into a person who needs protection and reassurance.

I hate being this way, I want to feel the way I used to feel, the one who is not afraid of anything, the me that is always overload with confidence. Maybe the ages thingy is taking over my thoughts, even my inner feelings and thoughts. Or maybe it's just that I finally know what is respondibility. what a big and heavy word. A word that I've ignore till recent. A word that I hope there is no need for me to face. How I wish I'm young again. No need to think of the future. Just do whatever I feel like doing.

If someone ask me what I'm thinking now. Ill definitely say I feel like crying as hard as I can. Cry my heart out. Cry like there is no tommorrow. Cry all my worries and sorrow away. Cry till I feel I'm confindence enough to start my life again.

Don't know when my life has turn into a narrow path, a path without bright lamp post, a path without someone to guide me, a path that I need to walk alone, a path that I need to walk on and am not allow to turn back and walk another path. I do not have another path to choose. Just this one. And I know for sure that I will have to walk it for few more years.

I just hope I don't fall too hard along the path and that it took all my courage to continue walking. I know the almighty will guide me along the path. But I know too that it's up to me to do the decisions. All He can do is accompany me along the path and try to let me understand every single details along the path.

I know I shouldn't give up. but I wish that there is another better path to walk. a brighter and less bumpie.