Study, Study, Study~~~

Study~~~ Why on earth there must be test or exam that goes with it?? Why can't just study then graduate. Why must there be pre-work for labs and why there is assignment that is so near to each other?? WHY??? I'm getting crazy soon. Everyone seems to be studying or doing their assignment. And what am I doing? I'm sitting in front of my laptop. Waiting~~~ Waiting for what??? I also don't know.

Was very motivated this afternoon to do some studies for the test on tuesday. Was extremely able to concentrate. But... after dinner~~ couldn't find the ON mode for studying. Everything seems so strange and so easy. Nothing to study at all. But deep inside I know that I need to study. Need to do more questions. I won't be able to do the questions if I don't do more questions on the course. Plus it's not just one or two chapter but more than 10 chapter of stuff combine into 6 questions. With consist of 15% out of the total course mark.

Plus I still have assignments due by thursday and a practical on wednesday that needs pre-working. man.... where is my motivation to study? where has it gone to? who took it away? can someone return it to me??? I really need it... I need the fear for test too.. I always feel fear after the test. Why can't I feel fear before the test so that I will put more efford in preparing for it??

I have all the reading material on my desk but am not doing any preparation at all. Just flipping the pages and trying to look as if I'm studying. But that doesn't help a bit. I just can't get this bad habit of mine vanish. Or it's because of someone or something. That sort of took my attention away from my books?? Why on earth does things always doesn't go as it was planned.

I'm pratically putting lots of crap in here. Whoever is reading it must think I"m nuts. Yes I'm nuts. I'm getting crazy trying to get my 2nd degree instead of a master degree.... Like what I was told. I got a PHD (permenant head damage). maybe I just need more TLC (tender, love & care). Which I was once told.