It's been a long time that I've not written in this blog. It's almost as if I've totally forgot about it.No. I've not. I've alot to write about. It's just that I have no idea how to put all of it into words. I'm lost... Very lost... Don't wish to continue on with this route that I've detour to. It feels like every steps that I take a peeble will increase inside of my shoe. It's a peeble that I have to walk with. Can't even get rid of it. one or two is not very hard to walk with. But very disturbing. But once it increases in numbers. It's not pleasant to walk with. It hurts. It hurts so much that you would want to take of your shoes and walk bare foot. Cause it doesn't make any difference at all by walking with peebles in your shoes and walking the path full of peebles....
:) I know it's hard to understand what the hell am I talking about. It's just a feeling of my situation. Been having questions of next year accomodation throwing forward towards me. It's just August. The second month of the new semester. And everyone is asking what am I suppose to do with my next years accomodation. My current contract ends in November and it's about the time where the finals are going. My housemates are graduating this semester so I have to look for other people to share a accomodation with me. Which I have no idea who and where. I was thinking of continuing my current accomodation for another month. At least untill the exams are over.
But maybe I was being sensitive or what-so-ever. the way I hear it is. I should go and find someone else to get a new accomodation and they can take over my room since their parents and friends will be coming over and they can pay for the one month rent that I won't be staying. Hm... Am I too sensitive???
I'm now thinking whether I should go and rent a apartment by myself. Anywhere also doesn't matter. since i've got a car. But then will I be cut out of the world?? Will I be in my own home not socialising at all?? That's a question I'm asking myself. But if Not who will I stay will?? Where would they want to stay? I'm a bit particular with the condition of the accomodation... Hm.. too much to think about... Head going to burst.
Then studies not going very well. Maybe too old to continue the studies. Always cannot remember stuff that I've memorise by heart. Would forget what-ever I memorise in a few minutes. That's so bad. Don't know if I've got some problem in my brain or not. I've always suspected I've got some disease in my head. Cause since young I've got this headache which occur once a while and it hurts badly. It's not migrane but yet it hurts alot. It hasn't been giving much problem untill lately. It seems to have come back from a long holiday. LAst time used to joke with mum that I wanna do CT scan. And mum say I'm crazy.....
Hai~!~ There's so much in my mind. Don't know what to do with everything. Don't know how to settle everything. Maybe if your parents are not worried about you at all. You get stress up more. You have to settle everything by yourself and try not to bother anyone else. . .
Hm... God... tell me what I should do.... Lighten my path. Clear all the peebles along my way... lift all the worries and trouble in my mind. Tell me I worry too much and everything will be fine.
