2 down 2 more to go

It's the time of the semester where I'll be asking everyone to kill me. and hoping to barely pass all my papers. yes. it's the exam period. end of one whole semester. holidays are just around the corner. but very short one.

IT'S only the first week of exam and i've got 2 papers down. and 1 more to go this week and another nex week. it's quite fast for me. unlike some of my friends who actually either start after i finish or ends at the last day of the exam.

The last 2 papers were the hardest among all. also the 2 that I can't attend all the classes due to clashes in time table. crap right?? clashes. always not the best thing to have in time table. and not changeable and nothing can be done bout it other than take it next year, cause it's only offer once a year. shitty system.

i don't know how things will go witht the 2 other papers. but I'm asking myself to do much better in this 2 coming paper. as to pull back the average GPA which the last 2 paper had effected. which hopefully won't fail in the last 2 papers.

Something bout myself from a quiz

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Emotional!!!

It's few more days to exam. which in my words it's the end of the world. I don't know when I've turned into a little gal. Felt so weak, feel so lack of confident, so afraid of dissappointment and failure. These haven't been a threat to me before. I've changed into a person who needs protection and reassurance.

I hate being this way, I want to feel the way I used to feel, the one who is not afraid of anything, the me that is always overload with confidence. Maybe the ages thingy is taking over my thoughts, even my inner feelings and thoughts. Or maybe it's just that I finally know what is respondibility. what a big and heavy word. A word that I've ignore till recent. A word that I hope there is no need for me to face. How I wish I'm young again. No need to think of the future. Just do whatever I feel like doing.

If someone ask me what I'm thinking now. Ill definitely say I feel like crying as hard as I can. Cry my heart out. Cry like there is no tommorrow. Cry all my worries and sorrow away. Cry till I feel I'm confindence enough to start my life again.

Don't know when my life has turn into a narrow path, a path without bright lamp post, a path without someone to guide me, a path that I need to walk alone, a path that I need to walk on and am not allow to turn back and walk another path. I do not have another path to choose. Just this one. And I know for sure that I will have to walk it for few more years.

I just hope I don't fall too hard along the path and that it took all my courage to continue walking. I know the almighty will guide me along the path. But I know too that it's up to me to do the decisions. All He can do is accompany me along the path and try to let me understand every single details along the path.

I know I shouldn't give up. but I wish that there is another better path to walk. a brighter and less bumpie.